While the 5/20 initial open date for our beloved salons has been extended it still is just a few glorious wonderful days until the salons fling their doors open. Meanwhile, already underway (with enthusiasm and wild success might I add!) are our beloved resty’s with their outdoor patios who have all begun, and continue, to be sprinkled with fully booked 2,3,4&5 tops full of the dazzled small groups, couple, singles, girlfriends, boyfriends and everyone else as they catch up on the two months of being in quar.
A quar, mind you, that has me saying statements like this one:
“I admit: it felt weirdly rewarding to look at the flat AF, ironed/steamed-out-to-perfection shower curtains. Plural.”
Yes, I did steam shower curtains.
To blame? Quarantine.
*Curious how it is out there?! The outside seating thus far at the resty’s has me poppin’ bottles like it is 1999 and we once again can socialize with people outside the home, at a safe distance. See more and pics from yours truly
right here on my post about post #covid life.
As we anxiously await the salons return, beautify at home, DIY and embrace your hidden talents because GG’s: we all have them. And I will show you just how you can do this, easily too.
Excited yet? Right this moment GG’s, before you start taking #selfies on said open air patios, you can prep and beautify all alone as you retire your lounge- at -home -everyday -is -blurs-day GGirl, bid farewell to the Covid-lets-stay-in-and-get-the-home-did GGirl and welcome home the lets-go-get-our-everything-did GGirl. Because despite the salon delay, you can fling your own doors wide open tomorrow and head on down to support local if you want to, proudly and beautifully at that! So go on and bring that GGirl out right now.
Upon the above solo missions (and others you will never hear about) these noteworthy, sharable beauty breaks to offset the time between now and when we can seek the professionals are worth noting.
Keep scrolling and trolling to see how.
On the topic of…
Transparent, powder like and borderline ill come to mind when I try to convey the percise depth of offensive pale that I have been rocking these past few months. I have never quite refrained from tanning long enoughw to get cozy with this marshmellow hue and now I know why! Lets just say that my pale self and tan self provide a frightening BEFORE AND AFTER Pintrestable vision, one that would dominate Pinterest in fact, and would even trump any existing b&a posts on any topic related to skin tone. Think charlize theron in monster: you feel me? Don’t.
Sadly, as we know all too well, gone are the dreamy days of soaking in those artificial beaming uv rays one minute at a time in the magical beds that allowed us to walk in as zombies, out like glamazons and all the while blasting tunes and feeling entirely rested upon completing, a whopping 12 mins of shut eye in the tan bed.
Welcome to the 2010’s to current day: spray tans is where it is at! It is, and has been for about a decade, the queen bee for all who actually prioritize skintone. And I LOVE every single tiny little spritz of that organic, delicious bronzed mist that covers me.
If wondering where to go: 2 words: ZEN BRONZE in Riverside. Do not go anywhere else. No where else is Zen Bronze. Noone else is Donna. and nobody will tan you as magically nor magnificently as Donna, Coya or any of the other bronzing beauties who work there, so just go to Zen Bronze.
With my typical standing apt to “get naked and sprayed” now having gone right out the window I have resorted to my last option: hunting down the perf self tanner. You can buy a mist bottle of Zen’s potion on their website. Warning: all other self-tanners will have your complexion rocking its own version of a mullet, head to toe: party up front, all caribbean’esque, alllllll business in the back aka pale AF. Trust me on this one.
Love a gel mani? How can you get rid of a gel mani that now, post 2 mons in quar, shows more natural nail growth than colored gel?!
S-O-A-K GG’s. Soak each little fingertip in 100% acetone until the gel legit melts off: a frightening thing to witness and one that is usually blocked from vision with aluminim foil wraps the salon applies (and quickly burys you finger in). Then, get online and tap, tap yourself all the way to add-to-cart and ‘checkout’ on any and all of the advised press on nail brands I love here, buy glue too. And no, don’t even bother trying the adhesive: you will end up with red nail tips all over your clothing, entirely unbeknownst to you, that will then be pointed out by a stranger in a mask, who awkwardly gestures towards said red tips that are now taped and hanging upon your clothing in the least favorable of ideal spaces.
Want more info? Read this article where I explored 15 brands and narrowed down less than a handful of brands worth doing and spending less than $20 on. Why? Because I had the time to do this. And for the love and sacredness of nothing being better than a mani. Nothing.
Hair. I dont F with my hair. It’s been an issue since the bowl cut ensued at age 4, traumatizing my pre school mug shot and sending me straight into therapy. It is essentially where this allll began. But aside from the therapy inducing haircut, tbt: my little perfect platinum locks were never ones I would dare to think I could handle on my own. Trust me when I advise to just get a hat and defer to your stylist, because that is verbatim from my actual stylist. Do not bother looking at it in the mirror, it will only lead to more misery. Not even elaborating.
Self Tanning: see above. I am going to look like the first ever Native American Barbie the very second Zen Bronze flings their door open so if you don’t recognize me: know and note this statement. Donna: I am coming for you.
All the rest is secondary and thus not a priority. Hopefully this held over some part of you that is feeling out of sorts and unrecognizable.
Over and out until the salons open GG’s.