Self-Care, we all do it, righhhttt?
Not so much.
For something that right off the bat sounds as if it is a given, provoking an automatic response of “obviously”, the truth is it really is not that obvious. Sure, generaly speaking, if we are in a healthy place literally/ figuratively, of sane mind, and have food and shelter, for the nost part we can all assume we are doing ‘just fine’ in the self-care arena. But self-care isn’t merely getting by or surviving, its nourishing sbd burturing your soul, heart and physical body in a way that honors it, not just maintains it. That said, stop for a second and ask yourself if you actually practice self-care… crickets, because: who has the time!?
It wasn’t until I started browsing the interwebs and found myself lost in endless memes on self-care rituals that I realized there was a reason I was so intrigued: I apparently suck at self-care.
Shocking, I know.
Let’s be real: with such a busy life in today’s world the days fly by rapidly, regime, routine and check- lists go out the window and everyday horrifying occurences such as realizing your roots are showing a bit longer than they should, days happen where you’re feeling empty and want to cry for no reason and the reality that you gained five pounds since last year are sady the norm.
But it isn’t just about the surface things when it comes to what suffers when you seprive yourself of self-care. A slew of other things come into play too, such as grabbing food on the go which leads to said weight gaun and nalnutrition which ghen makes you moody AF and emo. Not worrying or taking care of yourself because you are focused on others doesn’t make you a saint it makes you oblivious. Noone else is going to let thenselves go at the worry of you so don’t give that sparkle away. Don’t be one of those who all figure that as long as they are eating, drinking water, dressed and sleeping, they too are on top of self-care because they are far from it. But, after a multiple hour review of countless lists of self-care habits I realized that just because we are still breathing doesn’t mean we are honoring ourselves and we have to have a consciousness in order to listen to what our body’s, minds, hearts and souls need.
Let me explain.
Yea, I know, you are likely rolling your eyes right now thinking who has the time for this and or that it sounds so cheesy to nourish yourself, but you must. Even if you are just getting by or treading water temporarily, yes that is part of life, but it isn’t sustainable. The reality is that this pace of life can and will come back to haunt you – if you don’t start practicing even a minimal amount of self-care habits now you could wake up one day wondering who you are and what happened to the person you used to know, you.
Having recently gotten married I am the first to say that the addition of this whole wife thing, aka the wife role, along with owning a house and becoming a step mom to three little precious boys, was far from a seamless transition, pretty entertaining actually on a multitude of levels. With a forever admiration of women and mothers who magically balance their home, kids, selves, husbands, dogs, cats and everything in between, I suddenly was experiencing first hand all that occurs behind the scenes of what has forever seemed picture perfect. And with that, I will be the first to admit that if you don’t seamlessly transition into this new stage of life, and most don’t, the first thing to go is self care, at least the consciousness of it. For example…
When I was single I was obsessive with time efficiency: it took me seven minutes to wake, brush teeth, wash face and hit the coffee button. I knew it was a three minute walk to the car,and nothing, I mean nothing,came between me and my Sunday night ritual of prayer, gratitude and journaling. To me, this was self care. But then again, I only had myself to consider. Fast forward to current day, and up until a couple months ago, I was lucky if I could even have the house in order, dinner on the table and a clear idea of my to do list. This turned into a complete and utter mind fu$&!! The tremendously heavy brain fog that took over my clarity was bliding. Andit went on for months. My lack of prioritizing my own self-care lit me up like a firwork on the 4th with rage in places I didn’t know existed and in the end only intensified the lack of order that worsened for the household, my family or myself.
And eventually the chaos began to make me insane literaly, and naturally. I uearned for my check lists, and my Sunday nights with Joel Olsteen, I missed my gratitude journal and my once mandatory moments of silence that now seemed impossible to even remember. And when I tried to do just one of these things, it was not as easy as just doing it because I had forgotten truly how to.
Well, let’s just say that the lack of order drove me right to the point where I was so pissed off that I defaulted to the internet for answers…and voila, luckily came upon the endless self-care lists that inevitably brought me back to me with somr major commitment, moments of clarity and multiple meltdowns but I made it. Thank God.
The one thing to know and temember is that routine, rituals, regimes are all a discipline. And discipline is a muscle, you have to train it and work consistently at it to keep it up. You have to commit to things and hold yourself accountable to follow through and yes, sometimes that means compromising on other things, but nothing else should really come before this. But do it because nothing is worth losing yourself or caring for the vessel our souls reside in.
For those of you who are eager to get on the SC wagon let me give you the first piece of advice that you must embrace: STOP GIVING A SHIT about what anyone other than YOU thinks. Don’t let putside opinions about whatever it is YOU know in your heart to be true. Keep those secrets to yourself until noone can shake you because the truth is, people are weird and people can be mean. Don’t give away your power.
Check out the Pinterest board I made with some fabulous examples of these self-care lists for more of what I believe are truly Greenwich Girl Pearls of wisdom and hopefully you too will find them as useful as I did in coming back to yourself with control, confidence and overall order!
The number one thing that helped me most: lists! Tune in this week to see my a.m.and p.m.routines, rituals and must-do lists.