You didn’t decorate the tree with the lights – you hired someone to DIFY [do it for you] and when they weren’t perfectly stranded you legit flipped your sh^$. Sure, roll your eyes. Shake your head. Even laugh at the absurdity of it all but deep down you know what I am talking about. The holidays are a wonderful time of year – they have a way of bringing out the best, and the beast, in us all. I have not decided if it is the freezing temps or the spirit of the holidays that can make you literally want to give everything you have to the less fortunate or if it is the over indulgent amount of time that is spent with family that drives us all to overindulge in everything from snow caps to night caps but whatever it is, the holidays have a persona of their own. As I like to say: ‘Tis The Season To See Everyone Go Crazy. But this year we had an incredible thought: in lieu of the misery or depression that so many feel at this time, why not make light of it? Our philosophy you ask? Some wonder what the walls would say if they could speak and frankly that is just way too overwhelming to even think about. But what if the Christmas tree could talk? Now we are onto something. Here are 9 true things my tree would tell you this year: 1. Yes, I actually freaked about the lights not being perfect…literally perfect. 2. I use a bottle to feed the tree. This was not by choice. At first, I couldn’t find a pitcher so I grabbed an Evian. A cold Evian. Why is that so bad? Now it is convenient. 3. There are no ornaments. Don’t even judge. 4. It is the size of an evergreen in a forest, literally, and stands perfectly like one (thank you Darwin and Tony from Nielsen’s in Darien). 5. I almost fainted from relief when I realized the tree skirt I picked out does in fact match the carpet… perfectly. 6. I stare at the tree for a solid 5 minutes a day, at least, in silence. 7. There is still only one barbie for my niece under the tree so far… unwrapped. 8. Every day I adjust the lights…every. damn. day. 9. I actually asked my boyfriend if we could “replant the tree in the backyard”.